Manage and resolve in a positive way
“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.” – Dale Carnegie
Manage and resolve in a positive way
Conflict is natural with people. We have conflict with members of our own family whom we love. So why would we not have conflicts with those at our workplace?
Conflicts must be managed so that we can continue a healthy and respectful relationship, all the while allowing for a difference of opinions. In this way, your personal and professional behaviour and relationships are enhanced in every way.
Conflicts happen when two people do not share the same opinion, values, ideas, motivations, cultures, religion or even lifestyle. In a world where diversity and inclusion is strong within the workforce and is protected under legislation, it is vital that we learn to understand and get along, at least professionally. As emotional beings, often conflicts occur because something that is said or done triggers an emotional reaction within us.
We are stressed, not often aware of the source of our stressors and can only pay attention to a limited set of emotions to get us though the day, the week…we find petty reasons to create a conflict and don’t deal with what is really bothering us.
Successful conflict resolution depends on the following:
· Our ability to manage stress while staying calm and collected, and listening to the situation
· Staying in control of one’s emotions and behaviour to allow for healthy communication without any negativity
· Having the EQ to pay attention to one’s feelings and that of others
· Awareness and respect of the parties’ differences.
Healthy ways to manage and resolve conflicts
· Don’t sweat the small stuff
· Recognise when the matter is important or could become an issue
· Find a way to discuss without assigning blame
· Understand that resolution can support the interests of both parties
Top skills to resolve conflicts:
1. Develop your Emotional Intelligence (EI or EQ) so that you can manage your emotions and read others’ emotions. It is a key enabler for to understanding yourself and other people. It is important to “know thyself” as it will provide depth and breadth to your personality, to your communication with others.
2. We know that non-verbal communication is important. How important? Well, imagine how you stand when facing-off to a teen, a partner when you are mad and right? Your stance, your eyebrows speak louder than any words that you could say. Therefore, be aware of what you do and how you do it.
3. Don’t sweat the small things and take it easy. Sometimes, looking at oneself and saying, “I can’t believe I just said/did that!” and showing remorse in a lighter tone or laughing at the situation and not at the other person for taking something the wrong way can be a good way of making a situation slightly less charged.
4. Know what switches your mood from bad to good. Know some techniques that relieve tension (internal or external). If you are irritated by something that happened at home, a task that was given to you when it’s not your responsibility etc.. Before saying anything, go for a quick walk around the block, take a few deep breaths…do whatever it takes to stop you from exploding. It will help you and save a lot of uncomfortable situations…
Conflict management and conflict resolution is not an art, it is a skill. In fact, it is a group of skills put together which requires your utmost attention and willingness to see a positive outcome for all parties.
Some additional skills to consider
· Relationships are important. We do not need to love everyone. We do not need to be friends with everyone. We do need to respect. We do need to accept that it is our difference that makes us unique, whether we agree with that difference or not. Accepting is key and working on acceptance and tolerance is an important exercise.
· Resolve and move on. Live to fight another day.
· Pick your battles and leave the small stuff to disappear.
· You do not need to forget what happened, because it is a lesson that we can all learn from. But you do need to forgive.
